Sly Cooper: Thieves Of Destruction
by Raco Cooper
Summary: Sly and the gang find an ancient map but exactly what does it lead to? Will it lead them to riches or is it a useless piece of paper? R & R.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Maps

RACO'S CORNER: I'm back friends, just so you know this isn't a sequel to my other stories(Stroll Down Danger Alley) even though some OC's might return.

Disclaimer: I don't own any Sly Cooper rights. Sucker Punch holds the key to their souls. MUHWAHAHAHAH!

Sly Cooper slid out of the air vent and landed silently on the ground. He looked around the room he was in. Just ahead of him was a glass case with lights surrounding it. There were a few lasers, but Sly quickly dogded them as he moved towards the prize. Inside of the case was a jade vase with rubies and diamonds emedded into the side. He carefully cut a hole into the top of the case with his cane. He dipped the cane into the center of the vase and slowly pulled the vase out. He gingerly picked up the cylinder-sized vase."Now I'm just counting on Murray to show up." Sly thought.

"Hey Sly! I'm here!" Murray yelled,seemingly reading his thoughts, from behind causing Sly to flinch.

"Jeez Murray. You almost gave me a heart attack ." Sly hadn't expected him to arrive so early.

"It's okay Sly." Murray reasurred. "I'm good at scaring people. It's my job."

"Right..."Sly looked at his hippo companion with a puzzled expression on his face." Hold on to this big guy.I'm wanna explore this place some more." Sly carefully handed Murray the vase. Murray stared at the vase in awe."It's so shiny..." he thought. Sly tip toed over to the doorway and looked back at Murray.

"Make sure you don't drop it." he called over to his friend.

"Check!" Murray yelled in response as Sly left the exhibit. He froze as he saw what was ahead of him: Carmelita and about 12 other officers surrounding him.

"Oh, hello Carmelita. Fancy meeting you here." Sly said in his usual playful manner.

"Enough of the tired old lines, ringtail. Give me the vase and I'll make your life sentence in prison only 10 years shorter." Carmelita threatened.

"How long will it be if I don't give you the vase? " Sly wondered to himself.

"I don't have a clue what you're talking about." Sly replied. " No vase here, just us thieves. Of course I haven't stolen anything...yet."

"I've had about enough of your cheesey action movie lines, Cooper. Hand over the vase NOW."

"Sorry Carmelita," Sly blurted."But...I have better things to steal." Sly made a mad dash back to the exhibit Murray was in."Hopefully Murray knows another way out." Not suprisingly Carmelita and the other officers weren't far behind Sly. Murray was where Sly had expected, standing in the middle of the exhibit still staring at the vase."Murray!" Sly cried. "We gotta get outta here!"

"Huh?"

"Run!"

"Huh?"

"RUN!"

Murray shrugged. "Okay!" He dropped the vase and jogged out of the room. Sly dove forward to the falling vase. But he was a split-second too late. The vase smashed and the shards flew at his face. He ducked down to avoid them, but he looked up to see Murray running away through a nearby door leading out of the museum."Why didn't I see that there in the first place?" Sly thought to himself. He looked at the remains of the vase. Then something caught his eye in the remains. It was a an old, weathered piece of paper. He could see the outlines of a map. He grabbed the paper and ran off just before the police squad could catch up with them. Sly caught up with Bentley and Murray who were waiting for him in the team van, which sped off into the city after Sly got in.

"You know, you can't run forever Sly."

"Keep talking Bentley. Keep talking"

"Sorry I broke that vase Sly." Murray apologized as the Cooper Gang walked into their hideout, which was their usual abandoned looking one-storied building with a satellite on top.

"The vase doesn't matter anymore." Sly responded. "After it broke I found this," Sly showed his friends the map he found.

"It's shiny." Murray said, once again in awe.

"Uh, Murray, how can it be shiny? It's just a piece of paper." Sly pointed out.

"It appears to be a map of some kind." Bentley thought out loud. "Let me take a look at it." Sly handed Bentley the piece of paper.

"Th-this map, this map leads to a treasure,big treasure, but we have to find four crystals first." Bentley read.

"Treasure?" Murray shrieked.

"Crystals?" Sly chimed in.

"Big treasure!" Murray added.

"Yes, we have to get going now if we want to find it." Bentley stated.

"Why?" Sly questioned.

"Because we don't want someone else to get to it first." Bentley said.

"Like me." Murray said proudly.

"Uh, yeah. Like you." Sly said.

"Enough arguing you guys!" Bentley snapped."Okay here's what the map says..." Bentley squinted to read the small text on the map." it says that one is in Mexico, one is in Iowa, in the States, and the other two are in places we've been already; Nunavut Bay and The Isle O' Wrath."

"I wanna go to Mexico!" Murray yelled.

"I say we go to Iowa, I hear it's not boring at all." Bentley suggested.

"You guys are crazy, Isle O' Wrath is the best place to start a mission like this." Sly said.

"Why's that Sly?" Bentley asked, curiously.

"I like the weather."

"Me too." Murray added."But the point is...MEXICO! I WANNA GO TO MEXICO!"

"There's only one way to settle this," Bentley informed his friends."It's the way leaders of the world have ended their disputes for years, Rock,Paper, Scissors." The three placed their hands in the center.

"ROCK! PAPER! SCISSORS!"

"Ha! Rock beats scissors and..what're you doing Murray?"

Murray held his thumbs up. "Thumbs up beats all, guys!"

"Murray you forfeit and I guess that means Sly wins." Bentley explained to his friends.

"Yes!" Sly exclaimed." Rock always beats scissors! ALWAYS!"

"Well, I guess it's off to the Isle O' Wrath." And with that, the Cooper Gang went off to the Team Van, and headed to the airport.

Will The Cooper gang make it to the Isle O' Wrath in one piece? Or will their flight get gasp DELAYED! Stick around for CHAPTER 2!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: The Part Where They Go To The Isle 'O' Wrath

Thanks for the reviews so far, I love to hear what you guys think. Keep sending in more reviews,suggestions,thoughts, viruses,I mean more reviews.

The Isle O' Wrath had changed in more ways than Sly had imagined once he arrived. Gone were the always-rainy days and in their place were sunny days and the occasional clouds. Raleigh's pirate ship had evolved into a small town, complete with shops and shady taverns. A bridge had been constructed to let the flow of traffic into the Isle. Of course the city was starting to grow around the Isle and it was expanding into the grounds surrounding it. Sly gazed in amazement at the shacks passing him as the Team Van sped past them. "And I thought this place was bad before..." Sly thought.

"Hey Sly!" Murray yelled."This place looks different!"

"Murray," Sly began."You don't have to yell, I'm sitting right next to you."

"Oh...sorry." Murray whispered this time.

Sly grinned.This could be fun."And you don't have to whisper." Sly teased.

"What can I do then!" Murray screamed, obviously not getting the joke. Sly started to chuckle.Murray was too easy to fool around with.

"Whatever you want, big guy." Sly said, half laughing. Murray could now see that Sly was just fooling around and he started to snicker.

"Guys! Quit messing around, we want to find the said 'crystals', don't we?"

"I guess we do." Sly answered.

"Good." Bentley replied."While you guys were having a moronic convestaion, I was doing some research..."

"Why can't we look for cooler objects of power like...keys?" Sly blurted.

"Uh Sly, keys don't have that much power to begin with." Bentley noted. "They just open things."

"Whatever..."

"As I was saying, I did some research on a little thing on my computer I like to call 'the internet' and I found out that one of the keys is located at the local theater around here somewhere."

"That pretty impressive Bentley." Sly said."What website did you use?"

"Wikipedia.I just typed in 'Things you find in rare vases' and I found the crystal info. It works all the time.But back to business. The theater is located just one block from here, in fact there it is." Bentley was indeed right, the theater looked out of place in the city full of shops and housing projects. All of the buildings seemed brand new to Sly. He could barely remember where to go. The Team Van was speeding around the grounds of the isle Sly had explored so long ago. Sly couldn't about stop thinking about how much the Isle had changed. The van screeched to a halt, and Sly jumped out of the van.

"Okay Sly you should explore the theater and get some recon photos. Keep an eye out for crystal #1." Bentley said to Sly from the van.

"Right." Sly replied."What're you guys gonna do?"

"We'll search for a base of operations. You know, a safehouse? We'll give you our coordinates later."

"Right." Sly said again, half listening. The van sped off down the streets. Sly gazed at the theater. For something that had been constructed in the last three years, it looked older than Sly had expected. Sly took out his binoc-u-com."Recon photos, what a waste of time. Just to get me away from Bentley and Murray." He thought as he put the device back in his pouch. Sly walked over to a nearby drainpipe and hatched on to it. His thief reflexes were as keen as ever. He climbed up to the top of the theater. Once Sly jumped of the pipe and landed on the roof, he immediately noticed an air vent near him. With one whack of his cane, the grating fell off and Sly crawled in."They really need to stop making those things so crappily made..." Sly could immediately here voices beneath him.

"Are you sure you're going to win again this year?" one of the voices said.

"How dare you insult my chances?" the other one said in a heavily British, "sophisticated" voice. Where have I heard him before..." Sly thought as he continued to listen.

"I have won 2 times straight, yes it's not that much, but it's more than you'll ever do in your pathetic life." the British voice jabbered.

"Yeah but maybe you couldn't maybe, I don't know, cheat this year?" the other voice replied.

"My gawd Horatio, you actually think cheating doesn't get you places? I didn't become Mayor of this 'town' by playing fair." the stuck-up voice replied." I will win the Talent Competition for a third year and stay mayor..."

"Whatever you say Mayor Raleigh..." Once the words "Raleigh" entered Sly's ears, he could instantly remember who the voice was.Sir Raleigh had stayed off Sly's mind for 3 years.After Sly got Raleigh's section of the Theivious Racoonus, Sly was positve he was locked up in jail. Sly didn't have a clue how Raleigh got out of prison and beacme mayor. He had to get back to Bentley and Murray. Sly could hear the metal in the vent bending."Of all the times you had to break, it had to be now..." The second after Sly finished his thought, the vent broke and Sly fell and landed on the carpetted hallway. Sly looked up and saw Sir Raleigh, enormus iron to hat and all, standing next to a dog, who Sly figured was his stooge.The dog was carrying a large gold trophy.

"Well, if it isn't the racoon who single handedly got me in prison." the frog drawled. "I was certain you had died in some...thieving accident."

"And I was certain you were behind bars." Sly responded."How exactly did you become mayor of this city?"

"Alright racoon, I'll give you the pleasure of me explaining how I came to power. It's quite simple, I win the Talent competition annually, and I become mayor...annually."

"How'd you get out of prison then?" Sly asked.

"It's very easy once you have A LOT OF FREAKIN' CASH FOR BAIL!" Raleigh raged." And now you shall pay for..." Sly could care less about Raleigh's empty threats. All he was concerned about was a trophy Raleigh's stooge was carrying. It was a typical trophy that read "Isle Of Wrath Talent Championship" but Sly could see a wallet sized crystal on top of it. That was all he wanted. There was no doubt Raleigh had a sea of mindless thugs walking around the theater, Sly would have to claim his prize later.

"And that's how I'll kill you...painfully." Raleigh continued."Any questions?"

"Yeah, I'm going to leave, can you stop me?"

"Well that would depend, how do you plan on...COME BACK YOU DIRTY THIEF!" Raleigh yelled as Sly ran for a window. As Sly had predicted, four thugs blocked his only exit. Sly took out some smoke bombs and threw them at the thugs. They couldn't see a thing in the smoke and started to beat each other up. Raleigh and his stooge ran down the hallway.

"What are you doing you idiots!" Raleigh spat."That THIEF is escaping. As the smoke wore off, the thugs turned and saw Sly running. He bashed the window into pieces and paraglided down to safety. Sly could here Raleigh screaming "DAMN YOU RACOON!" as he sped off from the theater. Almost on cue, Bentley reached Sly through the earpiece Sly had on.

"Sly, we found a safehouse near the theater, did you get the recon photos?"

"Recon photos?" Sly repeated. He didn't even bother taking them."Look Bentley, we'll talk once I get back to the safehouse, just tell me where you are."

Raleigh's back, who would've though that? Tune in next time for chapter 3, coming soon! 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

A/N: Where have I gone to? Well, I'm finally back!! I've been busy lately with drivers' education , school, etc. Anyway, thanks for the reviews so far. They really help with my writing. Anyways, I plan on making this story more humor over action/adventure. so enjoy Chapter 3...

"Look Bentley, we'll talk once I get back to the safehouse, just tell me where you are." Sly said.

"Hey Sly, before you get down here, can you buy a new scarf at the new downtown mall? I heard that place has a water park." Murray told to Sly before Bentley could begin.

"I'm on my way." Sly said as he walked towards the Newly named Island of in the far side of town. He got there in about five minutes. After he walked inside, he was hit with a blast of loud music accompanied by spinning lights and glow-in-the-dark-walls which the spinning lights, which the lights didn't touch. Sly quickly ran out deeper into the mall as fast as he could and noted what the store he was just in was: Oyster's Magical Revenge.

"Nice." Sly thought as he turned to the directory. Al's Scarf Paradise was just across from Oyster's Magical Revenge. He ran into the store. Before he could get in he saw a dog in an old trenchcoat walking around, rambling.

"Can't you feel it? The end is near. It's coming people!!!" he lamented. "But that's where I come in. I have the anti-end. It's a little something I like to call shaving cream." The dog walked up to Sly with a can of shaving cream. "Here sir, put this on your eyes, it will save you from the end of all things that are here to come tomorrow but it feels like TODAY!!!" The dog was obviously insane.

"Get away!" Sly said as he pushed the dog away. He quickly stumbled back up.

"Oh, so you don't want to learn my secrets, do you? You and me are the same thing, people! WAKE UP!!!!" the dog yelled, One of the mall guards noticed the insane dog and picked up a walkie talkie.

"Insane Rob's predicting the end of the world again, get the net." he said to the walkie talkie. Another guard came with a net and caught Rob. They started to drag him off.

"YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTING!!!" he screamed. "Can't you see, Heaven isn't a bunch of cloud , oh no, it's a chocolate lollipop train with a monkey conductor, check it out for yourself and you'll see who's telling the truth..." Sly walked away and went into the scarf shop.

After a few minutes of looking at certain scarves, he was grabbed from behind.

"You have the right...to not speak by order of them Mall Security guys, which is me." A guy with a tag that read "Ricky" said to Sly.

"But I'm not Sly Cooper!" Sly screamed, trying to trick the seemingly stupid security officer.

"Oh, I'm sorry sir. I must have mistaken you for...hey! Wait Just a minute!! I'm Ricky, so that don't not add up!!!" Ricky screamed. He took out some pepper spray from his belt and sprayed Sly at full blast.

"Ah!" Sly cried as he rubbed his burning eyes. "You know, that didn't knock me out but it's just annoying."

Ricky responed by clocking Sly in the head."DID THAT KNOCK YOU OUT?" he asked.Sly, not suprisingly didn't answer since he was unconscious.In his dense mind, Ricky thought Sly couldn't hear him."I SAID' DID THAT KNOCK YOU OUT'!!!!"

"I hope Sly gets me a magenta scarf." Murray hoped.

"I don't know, he usually doesn't take long." Bentley questioned.

"Hey, Bentley, how come you don't got a scarf? You just have that dumb bowtie." Murray said.

"I haven't worn that in years."

"So? Scarves are cool." Murray said.

"Let's stop this meaningless conversation and go to Raleigh's headquarters and get the crystals ourselves." Bentley responded.

"Bentley, you don't normally jump to conclusions like this, it's not like you." Murray lectured.

"Well, Murray, I think Sly's been captured, so we need to go." said Bentley.

"Okay." Murray mumbled.

Expect another update once school stops sucking.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Author's Note: Hey everyone. I'm back yet again. I was starting to lose interest in Fan fiction thanks to these flamers but I decided to stay and work on my story. I'll also have to check out some of the new stories that have been published. Heh, I've really been missing out. Here's Chapter 4, enjoy.

Sly awoke in a dark room. He was tied to a chair.

"_Well, this isn't the first time this has happened. These guys sure are creative." _Sly thought.

Then Ricky the security guard, and two other guards who were about five times bigger than Ricky came in.

"I am gonna ask you some simply simple questions, and you are gonna answer them. Is that clear?" Ricky said.

"'Simply simple?'" Sly asked. Ricky smacked him across the face.

"That wasn't a question! Now, what is your purpose at our fine establishment?" Ricky asked.

"Uh, I was-"

Ricky smacked him again.

"That wasn't a question! Are you gonna answer what I asked you or not?" Ricky said.

"Well, by your standards you haven't exactly asked anything yet." Sly said. He was secretly trying to get out of the rope he was tied by. It was simple, because the knot was right by his hands.

"I see. But technically, I also was asking you a question just now, and you answered it, so I have asked you a question." Ricky said.

"But to be exact, why would you ask a question, if you didn't want an answer? That would be pointless." One of the other guards said.

"No, no, no! I was asking questions and not letting answer them so he would only tell the truth. I was psyching him out so I could get to the good stuff." Ricky said.

"But if you wanted to "psych him out", you could just have tortured him." The other bodyguard said.

"Now, Jim, that's just sick. See, now this is why you're only a "junior mall security guard". You quit with all that "torture this," and "torture that" and you'll be a full-fledged mall security guard."

"Well, we might as well let this criminal ask- where'd he go?" Ricky said. Sly was gone.

"Murray, we need to find the directory, Sly might be in the Lost Child section." Bentley said.

"I'm not looking for Sly, Bentley. I'm looking for the Scarf store, the Ice Cream Stand, Donuts Deluxe, and that one place with the race cars and the ball pit." Murray said.

"Murray, do you remember what I said about thirty two minutes and one point six four seconds ago?"

"Nope." Murray said.

"Well we better go get Sly." Bentley said.

"Why, he's right over there." Murray said.

Bentley and Murray ran over to see Sly. He was crawling out of a vent.

"Sly, where in Bohr's atom model were you?" Bentley said.

"Bohr's atom model?" Sly said.

"I hope you two realize you just spoke in sentence fragments. I am very disappointed in you." Murray said.

"Uh..." Sly said.

"So where were you Sly?" Bentley asked.

"Well, I got captured by Mall Security guards, who tried to figure out questions by not letting me answer anything. I got out, but I couldn't find the-"

"Did you get my scarf?" Murray said.

"Is Rome blue a good color?"

"R-Rome blue? That color isn't even out yet! I thought it was just made-up!" Murray said.

"I found a whole crate of them when I was crawling out of this vent here. I wonder why they would keep them there, though." Sly said.

"Enough filler, let's get to that freaking crystal!" Bentley said.

"Tone it down, Bentley."

"Sorry, I don't know what came over me." Bentley said.

"Bentley, I was kidding. Geez, you only said freaking. Now let's get out of here." Sly said as he left the mall.


End file.
